A Random Cookie Recipe for the Blessedly Rainy Day Lazies

 Peanut Insanity Chocolate Chip Cookies

Just came up with this when I wanted cookies last night and wanted to work with what I had on hand. It’s similar to other cookie recipes but the peanut powder (available at health food stores or in bulk online) packs extra peanut protein and flavor. This is not a “less sweet” cookie like some of my other abominations-- it contains plenty of sugar.

INGREDIENTS

Moisty Bits

¼ cup butter, at room temperature

1 cup brown sugar

¼ cup+2 tablespoons peanut butter

1 large egg

¼ cup water

¼ teaspoon liquid stevia

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Dry-y Bits

½ cup peanut powder

1 cup white whole wheat flour

1 tablespoon flax meal

½ teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup dark chocolate chips

1 cup ground roasted peanuts (I use Asian style skin-on peanuts but use whatever you want)

DIRECTIONS

Stir together your moisty bits in a big bowl in the order presented. I recommend a hand mixer to ensure even mixture. It will be pretty wet. You need it wet because the peanut powder will absorb a lot of water.

Get your dry-y bits and dump into the moisty bits. Stir to combine nicely but you don’t need to hyper-wild.

Drop in the chocolate chips and peanuts. Stir to combine. It should be a little crumbly but hold together fine when you shape into balls, similar to peanut butter cookies. If it isn't, add a tablespoon of water at a time until you feel pleased with the texture.

When ready to bake, preheat the oven to 375°F. Put balls of dough on a parchment lined cookie sheet in tablespoonfuls, about 1 inch apart. They don’t spread. Flatten so they’re about ½ inch thick or so (if you leave them rounded, the bottoms may burn before the tops are done). Bake about 12-15 minutes or whatever length of time looks right to you in approximately that range when you look at them in the oven. 

Let them cool on the parchment for about ten minutes. Eat several to make sure they’re good. Then move to a cooling rack. Eat more to make sure they're cool.

Dang I forgot to tell you about this ADDITIONAL (FREE) cookbook!

 Do you want to read an awesome cookbook and discover that it has been defiled with one of my own recipes? Check out the 2020 Husky Cookbook!

This is a cookbook written by various members of the UW community to celebrate cultural cuisine/food diversity and healthy eating. If you have a UW NetID you can download it via the above link.

Or you can just look at my own copy here.

Oh, so which recipe is actually in the Husky Cookbook? My Norwegian lefse recipe (also found in Leave Me Alone I Just Wanna Bake This). It can be located on page 30 of the book (page 34 of the PDF).

God appetitt!

Lefse of Doom

Armagnac Chocolate Super Soft Ice Cream

My liquor collection and I have been having a stare-down. I took action. This recipe contains a lot of fat and alcohol, so it will be very scoopable. I do not bother with only using egg yolks in my gelato-style ice creams because I don’t like risking an overly-yolky taste and the egg white adds so
me nice protein to the situation.

IN DA CAWFEE

INGREDIENTS

2 large whole eggs

¼ cup brown sugar

2 cups heavy whipping cream

½ cup chocolate sauce or chocolate ganache

¼ cup Armagnac (another brandy would work OK--Armagnac is just yum!)

1 teaspoon instant espresso powder (I use Medaglia D’oro) 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS

Use a hand mixer to mix sugar and eggs in a medium bowl until yellow and thick, about 3 minutes. Heat heavy whipping cream in a large saucepan over medium heat until mixture bubbles just gently (not boiling).

Take about ¼ cup of the hot cream and pour into the sugar-egg mixture while beating with the hand mixer quickly. Add another ¼ cup slowly. Add another ¼ cup. Pour all back into the saucepan. Stir over medium heat until everything hits 170°. 

Stir in chocolate sauce or ganache, then espresso powder, then Armagnac and vanilla. Pour through a good sieve set over a bowl. As with other gelato style ice cream mixtures, reluctantly cover the bowl and refrigerate about 6 hours or overnight.

After six painful hours pass, stir, then throw into your ice cream maker. After the ice cream has formed in the maker, spoon into a small, shallow container with a tight lid. I like a plastic take-out box from our local Thai place. Cover and freeze until firm. 

Stir into your cup of coffee (if you’re having a rough morning--or not).

INSANITY COOKIES

I came up with this recipe in a fit of baking insanity (today). Despite the threat of garbanzo beans, you probably won't regret making these because the hazelnut and almond flavors ultimately run the show.

INGREDIENTS

Wet Bits
1/4 cup soft coconut oil 
2 cups fully cooked garbanzo beans, homemade or canned
¼  cup packed golden raisins
6 tablespoons brown sugar
¾ teaspoon liquid stevia
2 large eggs, at room temperature 
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract

Dry Bits
1 cup almond flour
1 cup hazelnut flour (or blanched ground hazelnuts)
1/2 cup brown rice flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon kosher salt

Just Bits
1 cup dark chocolate chips 
¼ cup roasted unsalted cashews or chopped hazelnuts

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Grind the wet bits together in a food processor until it's all completely smooth.

Put all the dry bits in a big bowl. Pour in the wet bits and stir.

Shape dough into small (that is, large marble sized) balls and put on the paper-lined pans, spacing them about ¾ inch apart. You can do a tight spacing because they’re not going to spread out. That also means they will look almost the same going in as they do coming out, so shape them to make them look attractively cookie-like now! Bake until the cookies are firm, about 20 minutes. Remove the cookies from the oven and slide parchment to a wire rack to cool completely.

Store cooled in the fridge or freezer. The low sugar content makes them prone to quick funkiness if you leave them on the counter top too long. 

Still Holed Up...Recipe Bonus! Zabaglione Gelato

Why not make some gelato? I mean, what else are you gonna do? I think a lot of gelato is too yolky, so I always make it with whole eggs instead. You won’t notice the difference. What you will notice in this recipe, though, is the taste of the Marsala. Whee!

INGREDIENTS

3 large eggs

1 cup white sugar

1 cup whole milk

3 cups heavy whipping cream

1 cup Marsala wine

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

DIRECTIONS

Use a hand mixer to mix sugar and eggs in medium bowl until yellow and thick, about 3 minutes. Heat milk and heavy whipping cream in a large saucepan over medium heat until mixture bubbles just gently (not boiling).

Take about 1/2 cup of the hot milk-cream and pour into the sugar-egg mixture while beating with the hand mixer quickly. Add another 1/2 cup slowly. Add another 1/2 cup. Pour all back into the saucepan. Stir over medium heat until everything hits 170°. 

Measure marsala and extracts into a large bowl. Pour the custard through a good sieve set over the bowl . Stir. Put your face over the bowl to enjoy the crazy delicious scent of this dessert. Think about how Sicily is totally f*cked up but does generate some delicious foods. Reluctantly cover and refrigerate about 6 hours or overnight.

After six painful hours are over, stir the custard before throwing into your ice cream maker. This amount is just ever so slightly too much for my ice cream maker, so I freeze a little bit separately in a couple small containers and call it semifreddo. After the gelato has formed in the ice cream maker, spoon into a large, shallow container with a tight lid. Cover and freeze until firm. Note that because this has a huge amount of alcohol in it, it will remain lovely and scoopable for all eternity (or tomorrow, which is when you'll finish it).

Holed Up...Baking Chocolate Stuff

It's time for my COVID-19 tale of non-woe baking. I've been doing the shelter-in-place thing since last week and have a lot of time on my hands around the edges of work and basic housekeeping. So I've been baking. My baking book Leave Me Alone I Just Wanna Bake This was such a travesty of typos, I don't think I'll be doing more books for a while. So as to not waste time, here are a couple of chocolaty recipes I have come up with so far!

***

Chia Seed Carob and Black Bean Vegan Hell Cubes

I wanted to make something high fiber but still quite sweet and edible. So I put more sugar in this thing than I normally do. I used simple syrup just because that's what I had on hand. I think if you don't have any (why would you?) you can substitute two tablespoons of water mixed with two tablespoons of white or brown sugar.

INGREDIENTS

Wet items
2 tablespoons chia seeds, well soaked in 1/4 cup water for about 10 minutes
3 tablespoons oil (coconut is nice, or just canola)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 cup simple syrup
10 drops liquid stevia
250 grams cooked black beans
1/4 cup finely chopped dried fruit of your choice (figs, cherries, apricots, raisins)

Dry items
1/4 cup gluten free flour
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 cup carob powder
1 teaspoon decaf instant coffee

Yummy Bits
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

Optional Pre-Bake Toppings
More chocolate chips (a handful)
Chopped nuts that you like (a handful)

Optional Post-Bake Toppings
Chocolate frosting
Powdered sugar

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and oil a 6x8 glass dish. Grind up all the wet items in your food processor. Grind in the dry items, too, if possible, or just mix the dry into the wet separately in a bowl that can accommodate both. Stir in the chips and raisins. Spoon into your oiled dish and smooth nicely and evenly. Top with nuts and chopped chocolate. Or leave naked. Bake 20 minutes. It will not seem completely done after 20 minutes, but don't worry. Let it cool well and it will become firm. If you didn't top with anything, it will be ugly, so you can frost it if you have some frosting sitting around. Or dust with powdered sugar if you're both upset and lazy about its appearance.

***

Chocolate Chip Panettone Cake

You can get away with using a springform pan for this briochy-cakey dream. But you can use a four inch paper panettone mold if you have one. Or a two pound coffee can (lined at the bottom with parchment paper). It makes just one cake. Double things if you think you "need" two cakes. 

INGREDIENTS

Sponge

1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast

40 grams lukewarm water

35 grams all-purpose flour

Dough Part A

1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast

20 grams water

1 large egg

90 grams all-purpose flour

25 grams brown sugar

56 grams salted butter, at room temperature

Dough Part B

1 large egg

1 egg yolk

75 grams brown sugar

21 grams dark honey

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

113 grams salted butter, at room temperature

180 grams all-purpose flour

50 grams white whole wheat flour (whole wheat pastry flour is OK, too)

Filling

1/2 cup chopped dried cherries or cranberries

1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

1/2 cup hemp seeds

DIRECTIONS

Breathe. This recipe takes all day and you have to let it rise FOUR times. That's right. So let's go.

First make the sponge. Just stir the water and yeast together until the yeast foams. Then add the flour. Cover and let rest until double. That takes about 20-30 minutes.

Now we work on Dough Part A. Mix the yeast and water together in your stand mixer bowl. Let the yeast dissolve and foam. Add the sponge. Paddle this mixture until all is incorporated. Add the eggs and sugar. Paddle well. 

Now cover this dough right in the mixer bowl and let rise in the oven with the oven light on, covered, for about 1 hour.

It's time for Dough Part B. Take the mixer bowl out of the oven, put back on the mixer, and paddle egg, egg yolk, brown sugar, honey, vanilla and salt into Dough Part A until all is combined. Add the butter and paddle further until smooth. Now you may paddle in the flours. Switch to the dough hook and hook a few minutes (6-10) until smooth.

Now we rise again. It will really need to rise. Let it rise on the kitchen counter, covered, about 4 hours. It is also nice to let it rise in the refrigerator overnight if you have the patience.

While you are sitting around waiting, prepare your pan, paper panettone mold, or coffee can. You want the bottom of the container slippery and the edges of the container not slippery. So if you use a coffee can or a springform pan, line the bottom of that situation with parchment paper and do nothing with the edges. If using the paper mold, it's already design to work this way, so don't sweat it, just have it ready to stick the dough in there.

After this rise, put the dough on your lightly floured kitchen counter and pat into an oval. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup chocolate chips, 1/4 cup dried cherries, and 1/4 cup hemp seeds. Press into dough. Roll up into a log, pat out into an oval again, and repeat the chips, cherries, and hemp seeds. Press in well. Roll up and tuck ends under to form a ball. Put into your waiting baking vessel.

Cover with a kitchen towel and let rise about two hours. Gracias a San Pasqual, this is the last rise.

When the two hours is close to up, preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Quickly cut an X in the loaf with a sharp razor blade if you want it to rise higher. Don't bother with the cutting if you don't mind a more squat, cakey item.

Bake in the center of the oven for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 375 degrees and bake 10 minutes. Reduce heat again to 350 degrees and bake for 30 minutes. It will be quite brown, so if you worry about darkness, tent a piece of foil over the cake for the last 10-15 minutes. 

If you are nervous about the doneness after baking, stick a probe thermometer into the bread. If it is between 190-200 degrees F, all is well in the universe.

The cooling process will differ with different pans. If you used paper molds, you need to cool the bread on its side on a pillow (yes, it's that fussy). You will also need a pillow for coffee cans (just take the bread out of the can after 30 minutes). If you use a springform pan, however, you do not need a pillow-- just very carefully loosen from the pan after 30 minutes and cool on a wire rack.

Steppin' Out Again: Cooking Classes in the Beacon Food Forest

Ever the masochist, I decided to offer another outdoor class at the Beacon Food Forest this spring!


Cooking With Abundance


Want to know what to eat from the Beacon Food Forest, or are you looking to learn how to prepare a few fresh vegetables while hiking? Learn how to prepare three easy seasonal dishes with Cheryl Wheeler, author of Foraging in Seattle, with plants fresh from the BFF! Bring scissors and bags for harvesting, a bowl and spoon for mixing, a small cutting board and knife, 1-2 clean hand towels, a plate and fork, and small containers for leftovers. You may also bring a small camp stove, pot and spatula (if you have them).


Get your tickets on Brown Paper Tickets here.

The blind leading the blind

I'll keep it up with more classes at the Northgate Community Center, too--those just haven't been scheduled yet.

Censored: The Leave Me Alone Illustrations They Didn't Want You to See

Yeah so I didn't put illustrations in my latest book, Leave Me Alone, I Just Wanna Bake This. Why? Because it was a very long process and I got burnt out on the drawings. Especially when a couple trustworthy people said the drawings I did draw were pretty stupid. Still, some other people do enjoy a little eye pain, so here are the things I took out of the book while it was in draft form. Prost!

AREPA CAIRN

SIMPLE-NOT-SIMPLE PIE DOUGH COOKIE

ADZUKI ADORATION

BANANA DREAMS

IMAGES UNWIND LIKE THE CIRCLES THAT YOU FIND IN THE BANANA WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND

MULTI-VERSE FRUIT DREAMS

BISCOTTI ISOLATION CHAMBER

I DON'T KNOW

CARRION FLOWER REGRETS

NOTE: DOES NOT RESEMBLE ACTUAL BREAD

ADVANCED BAKING ALTERNATIVE: 

WILD ROLL FORAGING

I DON'T KNOW. A CONCHA.

SUGGESTED COOKIE SERVING STRATEGY

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

SLICES ARE PEOPLE, TOO

DOSA DREAMS

PSYCHEDELIC POTATO PLANK PIZZA PIE PORTAL

PATRIOTIC GODAMBA ROTI

CAREER OPTIONS: KABOCHA AUDITOR

WARNING: MARZIPAN SNAILS ARE TOO CUTE TO EAT

CHOO-CHOO-CHOOSE A PULLMAN

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT 

BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIMES, WELL, 

YOU MIGHT FIND YOU GET TIRAMISU

SACRED SANGAK SPIRAL

CALL ME STUBS

UNREQUITED COCONUT LOVE

AÇMA DREAMS

_Leave Me Alone I Just Wanna Bake This Photos

My latest book, Leave Me Alone, I Just Wanna Bake This is such a crock, it doesn't even include photos or illustrations. The good news is I took photos of a number of things when I made them, so if you're familiar with the internet, you may have made your way here as a result of my mention that you could find photos here. Will these wonders ever cease? Well, so, here are some photos of things from the book, not in any particular order. See captions below for (scanty) details. I may add more in the future as I come across photos or make new batches, but no promises.

LEFSE - I MADE THESE IN NORWAY

LEFSE - PHOTO IN UW HUSKY COOKBOOK

TWO OF MANY LARDY PIZZA OPTIONS

BRIOCHE WITH PARCHMENT PAPER LINING

PUFFY FATTY CHAPATI

SWEET-SPICY SAMOSA FILLING

FRIED SWEET-SPICY SAMOSAS

HEAVILY POPPYSEEDED TANGZHONG LOAF

SESAME SEAWEED FOOLISHNESS SLICE

COOKING STRAWBERRY FRUITS

EVEN KITTIES LOVE JAM

THIN SLICE OF C³  

IMPERFECTLY SQUARE C³ - W/ VERMICELLI 

BAKED BAO (SANS SESAME SEEDS)

BAKED BAO W/FRANGIPANE OPTION

PAN DE MUERTO 

CHOCOLATE PIGS (VARIED BMI)

MEGA EMPANADAS 

SWEET POTATO POPPY SEED BERCHES

SCRAPPY LOOKING RAVA DOSA

ROTI JALA IN PROGRESS

HAZELNUT-CHOCOLATE-JAM HALF MOONS

CRUNCHY Qs

PARATHA IN PROGRESS

MORE FATTY CHAPATTIS

MY OWN "GREEK" BREAD

HAZELNUT RICOTTA PANCAKES (W/HUCKLEBERRIES)

FRUITY TAMALES BEFORE STEAMING

TANGZHONG LOAF & DOUGH PIMPLE!

EXPERIMENTAL PIDE (ignore weird brick)

ITALIAN FLAX BAGUETTE SURPRISE

SOME PARATHA (MAYBE THE DATE ONE?)

EMERGENCY MASA HARINA POUND CAKE

LACY MASA SNACK DISCS IN DUDE SHAPES

STUFFING SOME POTATO NAAN

FINISHED POTATO NAAN WITH NIGELLA

SOME OBNOXIOUS MUFFIN VARIANTS

APPROXIMATELY AÇMA WITH SESAME

SIMPLE DEEP FRIED EGG BISCUIT 

RICH WHOLE WHEAT CREPES (with serious jam)

SUGARED FLAX-CHERRY-ALMOND ROLLS

SICILIAN HALF MOONS (BAKED PASTA VERSION)

CINNAMON AND VANILLA CONCHAS

PISTACHIO MARZIPAN

COMPARING SHEERMAL WITH BOOK PHOTO

TEEN USE OF SHEERMAL: PB&J

WARQA BEFORE MAKING INTO BRIK

GREENS-FILLED WARQA (NOW IT'S BRIK)

VIRTUOUS AB&J SNAIL (SESAME OPTION)

TRAMVAI DRISTRUTTO IN UTERO

LAO CHILI OIL (SAVORY TOPPING)

MIDDLE EASTERN BREAD

"JUST THE KABOCHA SQUASH, MA'AM" 

REAL DOSAS (IN PROGRESS)

SO FRIKKIN FRUITY FROTTAGE DUDDING

NOT FOR COCONUT HATERS

(LUSTER DUST) CHOCOLATE LEAF 

FIVE SPICE CHERRY CLAFOUTIS

RAISIN-PISTACHIO BISCOTTI

CANDIED FLOWERS

WHOLE WHEAT TANGZHONG HEMP LOAVES

SERIOUSLY, CRICKET POWDER